Executive Summary
This report focuses on current parenting, desire to parent, and perceived barriers to parenthood among married same-sex couples who are under the age of 50. The analysis is based on a subsample of 263 participants of a larger sample of 448 married same-sex couples, ranging in age from early 20s to 80s. The current subsample represents 58.7% of the larger sample.1
In limiting the sample to participants under age 50, we aimed to capture participants who were actively parenting children under 18 and those who were in the stage of life where they could or might consider future parenthood.
Key Findings
Current Parents Among Married Same-Sex Couples Under Age 50
- About one-quarter (27%) of married same-sex couples under the age of 50 had one or more children. Of those with children, 81% were currently raising at least one child under 18. A total of 22% only had adult children (18 years or older).
- Regarding the route to parenthood, two-thirds of parents were biological parents of at least one child. These parents included 39% who were biological parents via insemination to at least one child and 21% who were parents to at least one child conceived via intercourse.
- Almost two-thirds of parents were parents to children they were not biologically related to, including 26% who were stepparents to at least one child, 15% who were non-biological parents of at least one child conceived via insemination, and 14% who were adoptive parents.
Desire to Parent Among Married Same-Sex Couples Under 50
- Forty-one percent of participants indicated that they wanted children, or more children, in the future.
- Among those who did not already have children, 44% said that they very much (18%) or somewhat (26%) wanted children. Among those who already had children, 35% said they either very much (11%) or somewhat (24%) wanted more children.
- Similar percentages of cisgender men (39%), cisgender women (41%), and transgender participants (43%) said that they wanted children in the future.
- There was some discrepancy between what participants felt was the most ideal versus most likely parenting route for future children. A greater percentage of participants viewed biological parenthood (e.g., via insemination and surrogacy) as their ideal method (61%) as compared to non-biological parenthood routes (36%). However, when considering likely parenting routes, more participants believed they would pursue non-biological routes, such as adoption, over biological parenthood (51% vs. 41%).
- Cisgender men were twice as likely to say that adoptive parenthood was their likely path to parenthood as they were to say that it was their ideal path (64% vs. 36%).
- Further, cisgender men were much more likely to say that adoption was their most likely path to parenting (64%) compared with cisgender women (22%) and trans people (29%).
Barriers to Parenting
- For those who wanted to have children in the future, the number one barrier identified was cost (79%). Cost was the only barrier noted by over one-third of participants interested in having children in the future.
- The next most frequently noted barriers were not having one of the needed parts, such as sperm, egg, or uterus (32%), concerns about discrimination (30%), health insurance coverage (25%), and health challenges (19%).
Legal Parenthood
- Forty percent of the participants said they were not legal parents to all of their children, and 44% said their partners were not.
- Most of these participants explained that they were stepparents without any legal recognition. Some participants with adult children explained that they did not have access to now-available legal protections (e.g., marriage, second-parent adoption) when their children were minors. Others indicated that they had not pursued second-parent adoptions for the non-biological parent or their children had more than two parents.
The Impact of Marriage on Family Planning
- Among married same-sex couples under age 50, more than one in four (28%) said that getting married increased their interest in parenthood. In contrast, almost two-thirds (63%) said it had not.
- Among those who said that marriage had increased their interest in parenting, some explained that they had not seriously considered parenthood until they got married. For some, marriage was a “prerequisite” to becoming parents. The protections that marriage offered, in particular, made parenthood seem possible for some respondents. Participants also perceived marriage’s stability and security, in the form of various benefits and social recognition, to be important to children.
- Many of those who said that marriage did not impact their desire to be parents often explained that they either never wanted children or, less frequently, brought children into the marriage.